How to have an easy pregnancy and not fall into the Mother India trap
Last week I mentioned that pregnancy is a beautiful thing; your body goes through a series of changes and prepares you for the ultimate gift of life. This gift is life changing indeed. Trust me, it's true, nothing can prepare you for what lies ahead! The idea is to begin with baby steps!
The bond that a mother and child have is special, incredible and just a beautiful overwhelming feeling that makes you forget everything that transpired, no matter how painful or long the labour was. But your body takes time to heal and recover and yes there may be a few challenges ahead, but the look of your tiny one's face confirms that it was and will be worth it.
Emotional fluctuations other than just physical changes are normal. Most women, and this is a fact, suffer from post partum depression. However this is rarely reported or even spoken about.
One must speak up and realise that something like this is very normal and can be dealt with, so don’t single your self out; chances are there are other mothers too who are dealing with this and going through the same things you are.
I kept a journal and a baby book. Looking back at it, it’s like reliving the memories and emotions. I was an ocean of emotions. I felt joy, happiness and on some days I couldn’t understand my body and the changes that were happening?
What really helped me was maintaining and establishing a routine. It gave me a sense of perspective as well as a sense of control on my time. It also allowed me to catch that much needed nap when I could, and believe me I was the better for it.
New mothers tend to be coping with a lot more than just the newborn. Suddenly, you become part of an elite clique of women. There are opinions and counter-opinions, as well as lots of advice.
Sometimes, mummy hood also gets into a competition, with baby milestones being compared. There is always going to be one super mummy in your clique who has an opinion on everything and a little baby, blessed with angel wings and halos.
It’s important that one doesn’t start comparing baby notes. Each child is different and responds differently to their environment and surrounding. Some take longer to grasp and communicate and by no means does that mean that the child is slower, it's just a matter of time and eventually things will fall into place.
Motherhood is overwhelming, but please remember that it is an ever-changing phase. It s a point where you are human and fallible, and there will be breakdowns as well as moments when you feel awesome. Revel in each.
However, don’t fall in the Mother India trap. You are still mostly who you were before you became a mother. Motherhood should enhance your life, not become the only focus of it. Mothers shouldn’t forget themselves in the process.
Stay fit, meditate (if you can!), do some yoga and understand your child’s needs. Toddlers are quite communicative and responsive and can tell their story with just their facial expressions.
Babies, especially first-borns, don’t really come with an instruction manual. There will be hits and misses, unexplained fevers and hiccups, miraculous moments and it's all part of the game.
The most blissful moments in motherhood pass fleetingly and they are history all too soon. So enjoy every one of them, and use the baby steps to move into a beautiful new future with your little one.